Sowing Seeds

Hey Y'all,

I'm coming to you live from my Elective month; a much needed vacation from my 4 month stint on Obstetrics! You all know how much I love obstetrics, but 4 straight months of sick pregnant ladies whose care requires every brain cell you have can really wear you out. The elective month is new this year. It was put in place for 3rd year residents so that we may go on away rotations if we desire fellowship. For those of us who do not plan to pursue fellowship, we are able to choose something "education enhancing." I chose to do a clinic/research month. I help in our busiest clinics and have a day and a half to devote to my research. Research is not my forte. Thus, I knew I would have to force myself to get it done, as it is a requirement. This has been a great month so far. I get to be a "real mom" and take my child to school and pick her up each day. I don't have to take short call which is a blessing in itself. AND I have my week of vacation this month. I could feel myself wearing thin in those last few days of September, but I already feel renewed and ready to take on my very last month of OB for the year in November.

This month has also allowed me time to reflect on my first 3 months as an upper level resident. I set goals for myself as a new teacher, and while I didn't achieve them all, I did my best to do so. The greatest challenge is ensuring you sow the right seeds. I remember when I was in the 9th grade and my APAC English teacher, who is very dear to me, had a conversation with me that I will never forget. I was 14 years old and had just returned from being suspended for nine days (almost expelled), for being involved in a street fight after a football game. (Yes, me! Pick your jaw up off of the floor! LOL). I was getting into all kinds of devilment at that time, which was not reflective of the home I was raised in. I was giving my grandmother, who I love dearly, the hell that most teenagers probably give their parents. (I'm glad she lived to see me grow out of it and show her appreciation for what she did for me.) Anyway, Mrs. Leeann Bryan saw something in me. That day, I was helping her hang something in the hall and she looked and me and said, "Keisha, you are so much better than that. You're a smart girl and I know you know better. You have to stop hanging with people who influence you to do things that you shouldn't because you have a bright future ahead of you." That day, she sowed a seed. I have never forgotten it. She believed that I could be anything I desired to be so, I also believed it. Though that seed was sown at home long ago, sometimes, in those critical years, it also takes an outside influence to push you. I went on to babysit for the Bryan family through college. She continued to be one of my greatest supporters, even paying for me to pledge and allowed me to work it off; well, some of it. The rest, she gifted me as a Christmas gift. Mrs. Bryan is a great woman and I'm thankful for her presence in my life. She's also a firecracker. Anyone who was in her class knows exactly what I mean!

I think being an upper level resident (and a parent) requires sowing seeds. It requires the right balance of encouragement, autonomy, assistance, education and direct (sometimes blunt) constructive criticism. While I haven't quite found that balance, I continue to strive for it. I still feel like I have so much left to learn. How can I teach someone when I'm still in the learning process myself. That's the challenge. I'm also an introvert, so I don't talk very much. When I do, it can be like razor blades being spewed. As I said before, I begin each rotation telling those who haven't worked with me that I'm direct. I mean what I say and say what I mean. Anything I have to say about you will be said to your face. While I continue to get better control of my mouth, sometimes it still comes off as harsh, but I do it out of love. It's just who I am. If I changed that, I wouldn't be me. It is my hope that after I've graduated, those that I had the opportunity to work with and teach will be able to look at their experience with me in a positive light and be able to say that they learned something from me. I also strive to make the most out of this experience because if something is going to keep my from spending time with my daughter, I must make it worth it. Her sacrifice, and the sacrifice of my family in general, cannot be in vain.

Speaking of my little boo, school is going really well this year. She comes home everyday excited about what she has learned and accomplished. She continues to be an inquisitive, outgoing chatterbox (very much unlike me) with a heart for people. I'm glad that she's not an introvert like her mama. I think I miss out on a lot of opportunities because of that. I'm going to need her to control her mouth a little more in class, but I think most of our children have that problem. She is such a sweet girl though, and she LOVES her mama. That, I know for sure. Whenever I come home from a weekend call, she asks "How was your 24?" (as in 24 hour call) "Did you cut out any babies?," "Were they cute," and "Did you get to sleep?" She's always concerned about how much sleep I get. My child has become quite used to residency and is very understanding when it comes to my schedule. She is sacrificing much more than I think she even realizes, but she handles it all with a grace quite unexpected of a 7 year old. I think the fact that I've had to take her to work with me quite frequently helps her understand and appreciate what I do. She also loves the cafeteria food and the residents lounge, which is a plus if you're forced to be stuck at the hospital while your mom works. She has even converted one of my mailboxes to hers. She's very well known and well loved in the Women's hospital. I hope that she will have great memories of the experience.

Being a mom and a resident is not the easiest of combinations, but I'm thankful to God that He continues to be everpresent in our lives and our situation. There's no way I could do it without the support of the Lord, my family and my friends. When I think back on all of the times I thought I wasn't going to make it, I realize that He's always had my back and put a peak in front of every valley and sent angels in the form of family and friends to lift me up in my times of need. For that, I will forever be grateful. This is yet another reason why I must make the most of this experience and do all that He would have me to do. I must pay it forward for every blessing I have received and every seed that was sewn in my life. I will never be able to thank every one who has helped me along the way, but I can live my life and give back in a way that will make them and God proud. This is my ultimate goal.


Until Next Time...

Your Favorite MD,

Keisha B.


Mahogany Pearl: “Don't judge each day by the harvest you reap but by the seeds that you plant.” Robert Louis Stevenson

Just a few pictures of my baby girl :-)