Thankfulness Opens Doors

Hey y'all,

I am now 24 days into residency (and OB Receiving) and finally feeling like I'm getting the hang of it. As the story normally goes, just as I am getting the hang of things, I am changing to a new rotation on August 1st. That same sense of anxiety I initially had is trying to rear it's ugly head, but I'm trying to continue to remind myself that I made it through this month in times when I thought I wouldn't. What has helped me most is ensuring that I do my daily devotional. It puts me in a good mindset to deal with whatever the day brings. On days when I fail to do it, things always seem to spiral out of control. That's been sort of my "Aha moment" of the month, when I realized that the closer I am to the Father, the better I am able to handle the things that come my way. I am, in no way, an uber religious person, but I do know who God is and I believe that He is the same for all of us. We just worship Him differently.

Everyday, He shows me more of who He is through this calling that He gave me. I try to keep in mind that He said that what I do for the LEAST of these, I also do for Him. I see so many patients struggling, making bad decisions for not only their health, but also the health of their babies. I also see women who do all they can and still have troubled or lost pregnancies. I try to treat all of them equally, whether or not I agree with their life choices because I'm not their judge. I have just been chosen to be their physician. Many times He gives me words to say that, after they've been said, I realize that they were not from me. I pray that I will always allow Him to use me as His vessel. Sometimes we get too big for our britches and think that we're the hottest thing going because we've made it to certain places in life. We forget that He has been the reason for all of that success. Then, just as any good parent will do, He shows us whos boss. I never want to lose sight of how I got to where I am in this life, nor who is going to take me further.

I saw a former classmate of mine while I was in the cafeteria the other day. He recognized me and asked me for some money and informed me that he had been homeless for seven years. I felt badly standing there in my freshly pressed white coat as he stood across from me in tattered clothing, with water dripping from his beard, as he'd come inside to get out of the rain. We went to middle school and high school together, yet our outcomes have been so different. I can't help but to thank and praise God for what He's done for me. That could have been me, but God...

I've been really torn up behind that encounter, but it puts so much into perspective. Now, when I find myself complaining about something or someone at work or in life, I remind myself of the other options that He could have chosen for me, yet He saw fit to bless me with much more than I deserve. I am determined to do right by those blessings.

I apologize that this weeks blog isn't a detailed description of everything that's happened in the last week. But what I posted today is what is on my heart and I wanted to share it with y'all. Have a great week!!

Mahogany Pearl: "__________, But God...." (You fill in the blank) :-)

Love, Your FAVORITE MD,

Keisha B.

Survival of the Fittest

Hey Everybody!

I made it through my first week of residency!!!! It has be quite an experience and I'm still trying to get used to answering to Dr. Bell. During orientation for medical school, they told us that it would be like trying to drink from a fire hose. Residency is like trying to drink from approximately 15 firehouses all aimed at your mouth at the same time!! The learning curve is RIDICULOUS! I feel like an idiot most of the time, but I have learned SO much in just 9 days. I get to work around 6:30am and i've been leaving between 8 and 8:30 pm (Sunday - Friday). So, needless to say, I'm more exhausted than I've ever been. I've fallen asleep fully clothed (jacket included) several days. It has been especially difficult because I leave when Jai is asleep and get home just before it's time to go to bed and she initially took the transition pretty hard. I keep telling myself that we'll get through it. It'll just take a little time.

I am working in the OB ER this month so I get to see a lot of different things. I've learned how to do a sonogram, checked more cervix's (sp) than I can count, used 3/4 of a prescription pad, carried two pagers, delivered 2 babies when the people on labor and delivery were busy, dealt with miscarriages :-(, and have been the one to perform sonograms on new mom's-to-be when they hear their baby's heart beat for the first time. This is a just a small glimpse of what I've done so far. Every morning when I wake up, I commune with God then I ask myself what I can do differently today than I did yesterday to improve. I know that I am only at the beginning of this journey, but I am determined to make the most out of it so that I can be the physician God would have me to be for my patients and that the sacrifice my family has to endure (my absence) is worth it. That's what's most important to me.

 These 9 days have been a wonderful and trying experience all at the same time, and I am still so thankful for the opportunity. Even when the day seems to be going awry and I'm feeling like a complete moron, something happens that reminds me of why I chose this profession. I thank God for those affirmations! Thank y'all, again, for following my journey! I'm going to bed now! :-)

Mahogany Pearl: "In everything, give thanks!"


Your Favorite MD,

Keisha B

1 Day Down, 1458 to Go!!

Hey Everybody!!

The big day has finally come and gone and what a BIG day it was!! I've been waiting for this day for so long and it finally came! I woke up this morning an hour before my alarm went off and my anxiety level was quite high. Instead of just lying there, I decided to get my devotional out and spend some time with God. What better way to start my day!! Today's devotional spoke straight to my heart. It was SO appropriate for the beginning of this journey. I posted it below for y'all. After I read that, a sense of peace IMMEDIATELY came over me. I was still a little nervous, but I had peace about the situation. He has been preparing me for this for a long time. So, a lot of my anxiety turned to excitement.

As I walked up to that hospital at 6:30 AM, donning my long white coat and my pager, I felt like I was having some sort of out of body experience. I'm a REAL, LIVE DOCTOR! Like, in real life! I went up to the 2nd floor of Wiser Hospital for Women (where I'll be living for the next 4 years) for sign outs. As I walked through the door, I said, "Good Morning" and the nurses replied "Good Morning, doctor." I looked at them, smiled and actually giggled a little bit. They'd just called me doctor and I was BLUSHING! Dr. Bell still sounds strange to me and it took me a while to get used to hearing it all day today. It also took me a while to stop walking in the patient's room and saying, "Hi, I'm Keisha." I guess it's just going to take me a little while to adjust.

My hands were trembling when I got down there this morning. I could barely hold a pen to write, but as the day went on I got more and more confident in my ability and began to develop discernment so I could ask somebody when it got to things that were beyond my wealth of knowledge. I saw so many patients today and everything I was prepared for never came through the door. So, I learned A LOT today! I want to make it my business to learn something from as many patients as I can. They are the best teachers; better than any book you could ever read.

The nurses in OB Receiving were AWESOME!!! They took such good care of me today. I wouldn't have made it through the day had it not been for them and my upper level. They were so sweet to me even when I was screwing orders up and asking 100 million questions. For their presence and willingness to help me, I am thankful! My intern classmates also came down to check on me today and offer their assistance when they had free time. I appreciate that more than they'll ever know. Team work makes the dream work!! :-)

I left the hospital at 7:50 PM today and I was still excited; Tired, but excited. I am looking forward to the 1458 days ahead. I know I probably won't feel so exhilarated after every shift, but I do pray that I continue to have the same passion, if not greater, for this ministry that God has given me! I don't think I'll ever be able to thank Him enough. I'm forever grateful for this opportunity!! Thank you all for your support! I hope you all will continue to pray for me as you did when I was in medical school!  :-)

Mahogany Pearl: When you feel down, look UP! :-)


Love, Your Favorite MD,


Keisha B